Dear MS Office 2007,
I hate you. You and everything you contain: Word, Outlook, Excel, etc. My loathing of you knows no bounds. In fact, my loathing might be so intense that it becomes its own being and exists purely to hate you. I despise how you try to be "intuitive" but end up fucking pissing me off by not intuiting the right thing, but the thing that an anteater or rabbit or antelope would want. I detest how your buttons are big but nothing is as it seems, or is labeled, and nothing means what it says. I despise how you've moved everything around so the experienced user, namely most of the computer using population, has to fucking re-learn how to use your stupid program. I abhor how your default formatting, called "normal," is actually all spaced and weird, and while it's simply annoying and hard to find out how to fix in Word, in Outlook it makes your emails look all wonky and unprofessional and is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to fix.
In conclusion, I fucking hate you, and will be saving up to by iWork for my new, gorgeous, user-friendly Mac as soon as humanly possible.
Anti-Love,
Liz
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1 comment:
Dear Liz,
I was excited to read that you regularly use our core Office 2007 products: Word, Outlook, Excel, etc. I wanted to take this opportunity to rebut some of your complaints about our flawless products.
Why the big buttons, you ask? As we've added more and more features and functionality to the applications, it has become more challenging for people to find the software capabilities. For example, Word 1.0 had about 100 commands, and by using the menus you could see everything you could do. In comparison, Office Word 2007 has more than 1,500 commands. One of the things the Office Fluent user interface does is help make those commands easier to find.
We wanted to deliver new capabilities that empower people to get the results they want, faster. We had four major design goals:
1. Make it easier for people to find and use product features.
2. Reduce design clutter and interruptions.
3. Make it easier for people to discover the capabilities they need.
4. Support the creation of great-looking documents.
If you aren't finding the new and improved Office Fluent user interface very intuitive or helpful, you probably need to shut down you computer and use a paper and pencil for all of your tasks.
Your concerns with Outlook and writing e-mails is most likely the result of user error. Our new Outlook 2007 editing and rendering engine uses the new and improved features in Word 2007 to create rich e-mail content. If the e-mails that are being delivered to recipients are not rendering correctly on their screens, they will need to upgrade their Office suite to Microsoft Office 2007 Professional for the small price of $999.99.
In conclusion, I would suggest you stick with us (Microsoft) and not switch to iWork (Apple). They are the anti-Christ and will make you drink weird Kool-Aid. Plus that Steve Jobs guy is just weird.
Hugs & Kisses(TM),
Bill Gates, MS Office 2007(R) Evangelist
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