Dear Quiznos

Dear Quiznos:

I'll be the first one to admit that I've never really been a fan of you. Much of that has to do with the fact that my town didn't get a Quiznos until a few years before I left for college, and that DC didn't have one easily accessible. Also, I didn't really like your sandwiches. I mean, the toasted thing was nice, but I didn't buy that you were any more or less special than dull, boring Subway. Just more fattening.

Until recently, you've been relatively inoffensive; you've just existed in the world, making mediocre sandwiches. But now you've crossed the line between "sandwich chain that makes commercials promoting its mediocre fare" to "sandwich chain that makes commercials promoting ethnic stereotypes." Yes, your new sandwich, the chicken carbonara, has an Italian name. However, I assure you, there is nothing remotely Italian about it. Is it being made by Italians? Not intentionally, no. Are the ingredients from Italy? Probably not. Does the sandwich even remotely resemble actual carbonara, already discounting the fact that it's a sandwich and not spaghetti? Absolutely not. Was the sandwich designed by an Italian chef, or someone who has extensive knowledge in Italian cuisine? I'm going to say no. What's more, it's for quick creation at a fast food sandwich chain. Yes, I said it. Fast food. It's fast, it's not healthy, it has more than 10 locations. Quiznos is fast food. Live it, learn it, love it. Can you, Quiznos, name me one item of fast food that even approaches authenticity? I didn't think so.

But what really irks me is your commerical. "Why do Italians talk with their hands so much? Because they're busy eating the new chicken carobnara sandwich from Quiznos!!" Honestly, that's about one step away from "Now that's-a spicy meat-ball-la!!" Which was one of the most egregious examples of stereotyping EVER.



Now, I'm half Italian and half German. There are enough overblown portrayals of mafia bosses, restaurant owners, soldiers, and mad scientists out there to last the stereotyping police a lifetime. And do I, or any of the other Italian- and German-Americans really protest to the constant raping of our national heritage and character? No. But your commercial is just so over the top insensitive, stupid, and thoughtless, I couldn't let it pass without comment. Yes, aren't our perceived ethnic traits amusing!? We enjoy being expressive while speaking (HAHAHA!!!) and we also enjoy food (HILARIOUS!!!). By the way, all of us (those living in Italy and those of us with Italian heritage) also have a firearm with us at all times AND ties to the Mafia. You know, following the logic you presented in your obviously well thought out advertisement.

Thank you again for cheapening my heritage by calling the chicken carbonara sandwich Italian, and for making fun of us while making a profit off our backs.

Best Wishes for Bankruptcy,

Liz